Cactus Coffee and the No Tell Motel

You know what I like? Cooking in the dark.

...Not that I cook. Or that I mind the dark. Okay, so cooking-in the dark or out-just isn't my thing. And I'm not a big fan of light. Still, I do hate waiting for a fucking electrician for three hours only to have the asshole not show up.

I think it would be great to have a complete crew of workers on retainer, just in case. Electrician, plumber, IT dept., lawyer...in pretty much that order. And if my cable modem ever shorts out the wiring, which in turn makes the bathtub clog up, and someone slips on the overflowed water and sues me, it would be nice to know I'm covered.

So my mind works in weird ways. Wait until I have a lawyer on retainer, then sue me.